Managing Mom Guilt: Finding Balance and Self-Compassion in Parenthood
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Mom guilt is a real thing and can take many different forms — from not spending enough quality time with our kids to feeling guilty for not taking time for ourselves. But it doesn’t have to be a bad thing!
Where Does Mom Guilt Come From
The first signs that may leave you wondering, what is mom guilt?
You’re a new mom and your friends invite you out for coffee, it’s the first time you’re leaving the house as a mother-you’re nervous and may even be stressed. Your husband offers to watch the baby and pushes you to spend time alone with your friends.
That’s perfect!! So why the mom guilt?
I didn’t leave our house during the first year of my son’s life. I had overwhelming stress and guilt rush over my mind and body at the mention of any outings that could disrupt our regular routine at home.
For some reason, I felt like a bad mom if our son slept anywhere other than his crib during nap time and I also felt like a bad wife for letting dad stay home with the baby for long periods.
I had no self-care or balance between being a mom and a normal person.
Mom guilt can stem from multiple different origins like comparing our life to others or pressure from spouse or family.
It is common to feel mom guilt but it does not have to take control over your life!
How To Deal With Mom Guilt
Guilt isn’t something that goes away and is gone for good, it’s a feeling that you have to bring self-awareness to triggers just like with any other normal feelings we have.
The first step is to identify your triggers of mom guilt and change your mindset about what it is that triggers those negative guilty thoughts.
Speak Positive About Yourself and Why You Do The Things You Do
It’s easy to get lost in a wave of crippling bad thoughts but that can be easily diminished just by speaking nicely to and about yourself! There are reasons for the things you do and everything is in the best interest of yourself and your family.
The next time you feel guilty about something that works for you and your family, remind yourself of both pros and cons of the situation that is giving you mom guilt.
Is this something that brings or keeps stability? Will this make you a better mom? If the guilt stems from lashing out at your toddler, have you tried to recover?
Why Mom Guilt Is Bad
Mom guilt gives us a false narrative of being a terrible mother for doing things like taking care of ourselves, spending time with friends, or working.
Self-care is crucial as a mother and you should never feel guilty for taking steps to feel good about yourself to be a better mom.
As moms, we are constantly giving. It is okay to give back to ourselves when we need to fill our cups again.
It’s easier to be a gentle and kind mama when you’re being gentle and kind to yourself.
Most triggering moments happen when we are tired, hungry, or overstimulated.
Taking steps in our day to prevent these things from happening like creating a Simple Morning Routine can lead to more positivity for your whole day!
Does Mom Guilt Go Away
Mom guilt will always come and go but by practicing mindfulness, self-awareness, and positivity, you are sure to beat those nasty guilt trips every time!
Having a support system near to lend you words of encouragement and a helping hand when needed also is extremely helpful.
Final Tips For Getting Rid Of Mom Guilt:
Acknowledge it, be kind to yourself, find healthy outlets for stress and practice self-care.
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